Blue skies and snowy days

I remember a January day my very first winter in New England - walking across the quiet, almost empty, university campus and really enjoying the feeling of being on holiday. There was snow on the ground and the sky was cloudless. I remember being quite delighted by the sun sparkling off the snow because I don't remember ever seeing snow in England sparkle. When we made Christmas decorations in primary school and used white glitter to decorate them it never occurred to me that snow really could sparkle like that - I thought it was a pretend thing!

Even when it's really cold (and even when I have to go to work), those sunny days in winter lift my spirits, especially when there's snow on the ground. Yesterday was one of those gorgeously sunny days and it was a nice day to be out and about:


Today it is not like that. We woke to grey skies and the forecast of 4 to 8 inches of snow. Instead of sitting in a puddle of sunshine on the dining room floor this afternoon reading a book, as I did yesterday, I've been sitting on the living room floor playing games with the husband and kids.

Quirkle is our game of choice this winter - one of those simple to learn games that requires some thought and strategy to play well. The snow is pretty and it's nice to have family time and an excuse for not having to go anywhere or do anything outside the house.



Having said that, once we get to the end of February I'm usually ready for winter to be over, or at least for there to be no more snow. But for all my griping about the weather, I would definitely miss New England winters if I ever moved back to the UK!

February vacation

We don't get half term holidays over here, but we do have this week off school anyway. The school year here is 10 days shorter than in the UK - 180 days rather than 190 and the holidays are arranged a little differently.

No October half-term, but we do get two days in November for Thanksgiving. Slightly less than 2 weeks at Christmas/New Year as opposed to two full weeks in the UK. A week in February, like February half term. We don't get two weeks off at Easter. We get one week in April. In my school district that vacation will now be shortened by 2 days because of the number of snow days we've had :-( By the middle to end of June we're done, whereas the state schools in the UK still have another 3 weeks to go.

So why is it, after so many years of February half term, it feels far too early this year to be having a week off school right now? Maybe I got too used to the private school vacations of two weeks in March? (Perfect timing for cheap tickets to the UK! It's been three years now though since I had vacation in March. Sniff!) Maybe it's because I ended up with almost a month off for Christmas because of all the snow days? (If only I'd know in advance that was coming, we'd have gone to the UK!) It certainly feels as though we had just barely got started with a school routine, and now we're on holiday again. Of course, DH with his paltry annual allowance of something like 6 days off has no sympathy!

Ok, I'm off to plan our calendar so we don't get to Friday and find the week has slipped by and we haven't even left the house! Library, movies, museums, kids' theatre - there are so many choices!

Another expat interview

Several of the bloggers I read have been participating in the 5 questions interview meme. I volunteered to have Not from Around Here interview me, and she sent the following questions:

(1) What do you miss most about the UK?
After 23 years over here in the US, the biggest thing I miss right now about the UK is my family. I wish my kids had a chance to get to know their English cousins better. I wish I had been able to be around and help my sister's family out when she and her husband both underwent significant surgeries last fall. I miss my mum and dad - but video Skype phone calls are great!

(2) What main message would you like to pass along to your kids about your multi-national existence?
That it is important to learn not just about the British and American cultures, but others too. Too many problems in this world stem from people believing that their way is the only way, when in fact there are often many different ways to do something that are equally good.

(3) What about America do you like the most but perhaps am reticent to admit because you're "Almost American"?
I don't think I would be reticent about admitting it, but I do like the sense of possibility over here. To repeat a blog post from a couple of years ago, I like:

the can-do attitude over here. If someone in the UK said they were thinking about maybe writing a book, the reaction would be, "What, you?" If someone in the US said the same thing the response would be "Go for it!"

I wonder how much that has changed with bloggers like Tom Reynolds, Petite Anglaise and others getting publishing deals now and becoming celebrities?

(4) How would you change America and how would you change the UK if given the chance?
The United States definitely needs a health care system that doesn't leave people in fear of bankruptcy if they actually get sick. Yes, I know the NHS isn't perfect, but in the UK no one has to fear losing their car, house, life savings and credit rating because they can't pay their medical bills. Sadly, I don't see this changing in the US any time soon, despite the change in regime.

I've been away from the UK so long now, that it would almost be like moving to a 'foreign' country if I moved back, so I honestly be sure what I would change. What I read online seems to imply that in many ways Britain is adopting some of the worst aspects of American culture - such as fast food and violence - and I think that's sad.

(5) If you had all the time (and resources) in the world, what would you do with your time?
Time AND resources eh? So I get to imagine having won the biggest lottery I can think of? Excellent! Travel would be very high on the list. The kids have not spent enough time with their relatives in the UK, or enough time over there to get any real sense of how Britain is different from the US beyond some superficial differences in vocabulary. (Lorry, biscuit . . .) I'd like them to see some of the other places in Europe that DH and I have seen, and DD has expressed a strong interest in visiting Asia. I would also like to spend more time on some of my craft interests that keep getting pushed to one side. I have a loom that hasn't been used in over a year, and DH is still waiting for me to ever knit him a sweater!

Thanks NFAH for the interesting questions - some answers were immediately obvious, others I had to think about a little harder.

Here are the directions if you want to participate in the meme:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me,” not forgetting that I'll need your email address. (No need to make it public - just put it in the little box thingy and I'll be able to see it but my readers won't.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Dinnertime

Both children are usually pretty good eaters. They like a lot of things I'm told many other children their age won't eat. But for some reason DS has decided in the last 6 weeks or so that nothing we cook is good enough for him any more. He will request something for dinner and then refuse to eat it when it's served. Unless it's cheerios, goldfish crackers or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, there's no guarantee he'll eat it. Some yogurts are acceptable, and anything mom and dad would classify as junk food, though we rarely, if ever, serve it. Tonight's dinner conversation was typical:

On seeing dinner being prepared by DH:

That's yucky!
How do you know? You've never tasted it!
I just hate it!
But you like everything that's in it!
Well, I'm not going to eat it!
Then you're going to be very hungry because that's all that's on offer tonight!

When it was actually put in front of him:

You know I don't like that!
(We ignore him.)
The sauce is touching the broccoli!
(We ignore him.)
I'm not hungry! I'm full!
But I bet you have room for chocolate ice cream don't you?!
Yes!
Well, the ice cream is only for people who've eaten at least half their dinner!

The faces he pulled were quite entertaining, but he wouldn't let me take a photo of him:


Nor, apparently, was it acceptable to take pictures of his 'disgusting' dinner:

(The empty cup was going to have milk or water poured into it after he'd eaten some of his dinner. We've learned not to fill it at the beginning of the meal as otherwise he just fills up on liquid!)

My dinner, on the other hand, was very nice:



Just kidding! The teatowel and cocktail napkins were joke gifts from DH this holiday season! I had the same pasta with homemade tomato sauce with olives, pork, and broccoli that the kids had and I'm looking forward to the leftovers for lunch at work tomorrow (even without an accompanying glass of red wine!)

DS never did eat any of his dinner, but that's OK - guess what he's having for dinner tomorrow?! :-)

Follow-up: He did indeed get offered the same meal a second time - and guess what? This time it was deemed yummy and he ate it all up!

Future plans

Apparently just before Christmas DD was making plans for her future. I found the following written on a small scrap of paper hidden under her bed. I'm not quite sure why the numbering changed mid-stream - it looked as though she was making plans for specific ages, but then suddenly it changed to specific dates. Perhaps she wanted to throw me off in case I found the list!

10 - See Beverly Hills Chew Wa Wa
11 - own all high school vidios
12 -
13 - Get ears perced
14 - Get first boy friend
15 -
16 -
17 -
18 - Take dads canoe building class
19 - own a horse
Dec 20 - Live on farm
Dec 21 - own livestock
Dec 22 - Request song
Dec 23 - Move to apartment but own farm
24 - have child
25 - move to New york
26 - see the macys thanks giving day parade in New york
27 - buy car
28 - buy a house
29 - Get marryed

She must have written it on a day she was in a good mood because there is no mention of leaving home until Dec (i.e. age?) 20. We do need to have a little chat about the fact that she apparently has no ambition to go to university. Of course that would save DH and I a ton of money in the short term, but probably not in the long run as she will need financial support from us if she ends up in dead-end jobs because of a lack of education! I'm not necessarily excited about her having a child before she gets married either. That's worth a few conversations too!

The end of an error

One can only hope!

Culture shock

Not from Around Here pointed me in the direction of an excellent post on depression and culture shock on An American Bedu's blog. The post itself is interesting, the comments even more so. Culture shock is so much more complicated than many people realize. Many people think it goes away if you live long enough in the 'foreign' culture, but that's not always true. Some people never get over it and choose to go back home, as expat21 discussed recently on her blog. However, it's not true that returning 'home' will always be an improvement. There is truth in the saying "You can never go home" and reverse culture shock can be just as powerful as the regular kind!

Most of the 'graphs' of culture shock I've found online are based on the foreign-exchange student/temporary stay abroad experience rather than that of the immigrant:

A visa by any other name

From The Independent newspaper, January 10, 2009:

For more than 20 years, the vast majority of British visitors to America have entered the US under the Visa Waiver Program. This involves filling in a green form, code name I-94W, while on board the flight to America. But from Monday 12 January, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is introducing a new set of rules.

Even though you might be eligible to visit the US under the visa waiver program, you will now have to apply online at least 3 days in advance of your planned trip to the US to ask for permission. Even if you are simply going to be changing planes in the US and continuing on to another destination, you will need to ask permission. (In the past, transit-only passengers did not need a visa as far as I know, so long as they were not planning on leaving the airport.) Customs and Border Protection has a page here explaining what you need to know. If you've ever been to the US and filled out the I-94 W on the plane before landing, the new ESTA program asks for exactly the same information - only before you travel to the US rather than as you arrive.

It sounds as though for many people it could be a tiny improvement - one less thing to deal with on the plane - except that, for now at least, you still have to fill in the form on the plane too! And of course, if you're someone (yes, there are some) who never goes online, filling out the online-only form could prove problematic. I forsee a market for travel agents charging to do this! The US government currently does not charge people to submit an ESTA application, but they reserve the right to do so in the future.

When I downloaded one of the PDF files that explained more about the program, it said I could find out more about the program at http://www.cpb.gov/esta. Hmm - that address gave me a page load error: "Firefox can't find the server at www.cpb.gov". So I thought I'd take a look at the site where you can actually fill out the information in advance of your visit to the US - https://esta.cpb.dhs.gov - and guess what? That server couldn't be found either!

Why am I not surprised? (Addendum - anonymous pointed out that I had mistyped the address. The sad thing is that I did it not once but multiple times, each time checking the address against the addresses listed in the PDF file. I guess I was tireder than I thought, or just getting old, as dyslexia is not something I usually have a problem with!)

The correct address is significantly longer than https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov. (Spot the difference in the address?) If you actually need it, and want to avoid the typing mistakes I made, it is (currently) linked to from near the top of this Customs and Border Protection page. And if I were you, if the response you get from the system is that you ARE authorized to travel to the US, I'd make sure you print that screen out and tuck the printout in with your passport and tickets! (Actually, the instructions do tell you to keep a record of your application number and have it with you as you enter the US.)

Happy 2009!

A little late because we've been away and I didn't plan ahead to have a post appear on New Year's Day, but Happy New Year anyway! Here's a quick look back at 2008 from (not my) Uncle Jay:

Mandalas

I was inspired this afternoon by the beautiful artwork at Chewy's blogsite, "The Back of my Headboard," particularly by the gorgeous mandalas she has created. They are done in Photoshop, which I have used a little but not enough to figure out how to create such images myself. (It's the math of the rotations and flips of the picture that's beyond me to figure out on my own.) I was wondering if she would teach me, or if I could find a class - and then as I went back into her archives I found she had linked to a fantastic tutorial on exactly how to create mandalas. (Although I visit her blog from time to time, it wasn't on my RSS feed - if it was I'd've known about the tutorial a couple of months ago.) Thanks Chewy - and you're on my RSS feed now!

Here's the first mandala I've made, from a photo of a snowy tree in our yard:

Nice to see you!

We've been using Skype for a while now to call family in the UK. I think the first time I logged in to Skype there were fewer than a million people online. Nowadays it's more like 15 million. I was surprised this morning when it was only 10 million - but I suppose a lot of people use it for business. Anyway, we have only recently started making video calls using Skype, and I have to say it's wonderful! We made a couple of calls to the UK today and saw my parents, my niece and nephews and their parents. It's a long time since my kids have seen their cousins, and DS probably doesn't have a really clear memory of them, so being able to see and talk to them was really nice. DS enjoyed putting his face close to the camera to show off the fact that he's lost two of his baby teeth and there is a new one coming through.

The best part of the calls was the fact that I was using a Macbook with a built-in camera, so I was able to walk around the house with it. At one point my sister said, "Take me to the kitchen!" and I did. My mother wanted a closer look at a piece of artwork on the wall so I obliged. We were about to hang up when my kids yelled that my father-in-law was just pulling up on the driveway. My mum said she'd stay online until he came in the house so she could say hello to him - after all it wasn't going to cost any extra! Rather than walk away from the computer to let him in, I took the laptop to the front door with me, so as he walked in the house she greeted him with a cheery "Merry Christmas!" The look on his face was priceless! The kids' great-great-aunt (in her 90's) was with him, and her reaction was complete discombobulation - at first she thought she was looking at herself, then she thought it was a video and finally asked "Is she answering me back?" Great-great-aunt is, as my mother-in-law used to say, a hot ticket and she commented later in the day that she'd love to live for another 90 years just to see what new technologies will come along.

It's really not that long since the idea of video phone calls was still pure science fiction, and now not only can we make video calls but with Skype they are free! I wonder what we'll be doing with technology when I'm in my 90s?

Snow day

It didn't start snowing until almost 1 o'clock this afternoon, but school was cancelled for the day anyway. The kids and I had a lazy start to the day, having breakfast about 9. The squirrels were out there pigging out as usual, but suddenly there was a huge flurry of activity, animals racing across the lawn, that caught our attention. We realized that something large had just chased a couple of squirrels up a tree. They went too high for the larger animal to follow them, at which point it started to back down the tree and then raced off into the woods in pursuit of another squirrel. It took me a moment to figure out what it was - it looked vaguely racoon sized - but then as it turned and I saw its face and then looked again at its tail, I realized it was a bobcat! They're not particularly uncommon animals in North America, but it's really unusual to see them in broad daylight! Descriptions of them usually include the words 'elusive' and/or 'seldom seen'.

DS was convinced he'd seen a leopard or cheetah until I looked it up online and showed him some pictures. You can see why he was confused:

Of course the whole thing happened far too fast for me to get any photos of my own. We went out afterwards to look at the footprints, but although the bobcat's prints were noticeably different to all the squirrel prints out there they didn't look particularly cat-like. The snow on the ground this morning was covered in a layer of ice and there were several places where the bobcat hadn't even broken through the ice and so there were no pawprints at all!


The large white circles are not snowflakes but drops of water on the window.

Bacon flavoured chocolate?

Apparently I missed out on the excitement in the British press back in November that not only had Selfridges started to sell bacon flavoured chocolate, but that it had sold out. It reads as though it's some weird British thing - BUT the chocolate is produced by an American company in Chicago and sold here in the US through their website. They have some other interesting sounding offerings, but this one I think I'll pass on! Green & Black's is cheaper anyway, and easier to find. Oh, and "Mo's Bacon Bar" is only 41% cacao, so hardly worth the effort ;-) I wonder if it tastes better than the new Burger King perfume smells?

The scent of seduction . . .

. . . with a hint of flame-broiled meat - Flame - a new scent from Burger King! Apparently you can't buy any though because it's only available in the US (wonder why?) and it's already sold out. (Wonder why?) Hmm - if the date were different, I would say it was an April Fool . . .

Why would you emigrate?

Would you emigrate (would you have emigrated) if you knew the reality of the country you were moving to? I think for those of us who moved from the UK to the US or vice versa, we had a fairly good sense of what we were letting ourselves in for. There are always little things that surprise you though. Despite the similarities in the language, the differences can be disconcerting. Despite knowing about the US from TV shows and books, dealing with it on a day to day basis still resulted in some culture shock. I'm not sure if the shock is worse for those who come from a very different cultural and language background - surely you must expect the US to seem strange if you have moved here from Afghanistan or Somalia, whereas I was truly surprised to find the US seemed 'foreign'.

From http://booj.blogspot.com/2008/10/why-hell-would-you.html

" I like the idea developed in the Netherlands that if a foreigner wishes to immigrate there, then they have, apart from learning the language, to watch a film showing the life of the country, warts and all, drunks and nudes, hookers, hookahs, pornography, taxes, frost and floods and all. It gives a message to those who would enthusiastically tumble into Europe that it ain't necessarily quite the wonderful place you might think it to be. We have unemployment, we allow people to drink and become drunk, we allow people to express opinions, though we may not necessarily agree, we allow gays to express themselves. The clear message is "Don't like it? Don't come." "If you can't stand it, having come, go.""

Who ate the tree ornaments?

I finally found some chocolate tree ornaments - for some strange reason they're not very easy to find over here. I put them on the tree after the children were in bed. Within seconds of coming downstairs for breakfast the next morning, or so it seemed, they noticed them. They appear to have inherited my chocolate gene. I warned the children not to touch them.

The children left for school, I started on housework. As I was transferring laundry from the washing machine into the dryer, I found a very distinctive wrapper in with the laundry. Someone, though I couldn't tell who, had eaten one of the tree ornaments and put the wrapper in their pocket. (I suspect this was probably before I put the ornaments on the tree.) I wasn't counting as I put them on the tree, but I counted as I followed through on my warning and took them off the tree again and realized that not one but two of them were missing. However, there were a couple of new ornaments on the tree:

Both children deny having taken the chocolate off the tree in the first place, but given the appearance of the poinsettia leaves, I would bet it was DD. I can't believe she really thought I (the chocolate queen) wouldn't notice!

Postscript: She 'fessed up to taking one chocolate ornament off the tree, but denied having eaten the mini candy canes missing from the kitchen - this despite her breath smelling like mint this morning and the candy cane wrappers being hidden under her pillow. She claimed her brother must have put the candy canes in her mouth while she was asleep, and the wrappers under her pillow! She really doesn't lie very well, but I guess that's a good thing!

Would you drink sun tan oil?

When I lived in the south of France, my preferred brand of sun tan oil was Bergasol. It gave very little skin protection, but I did get a nice tan. Of course, given the amount of time I spent in the sun, I would have got a nice tan no matter which oil or lotion I'd used, given that back then no one used high SPF products. I certainly wasn't thinking about protecting myself against skin cancer. Apparently the original formula Bergasol is no longer sold because of the amount of the tanning accelerator psoralen, a cancer-causing substance, that was in it.


Despite its quintessential Englishness, I didn't encounter Earl Grey tea until many years later and disliked it intensely at first sniff. It took me a while to figure out why - the flavour comes from oil of bergamot - the same oil that gives Bergasol its distinctive smell! Earl Grey is DH's favorite kind of tea and I have to make sure that it is kept in a separate Tupperware container from my Tetley's British Blend so as not to contaminate it!

Christmas thoughts

I miss mince pies at Christmas time! Occasionally our local supermarket has them, but they are in the import aisle and very expensive. I suppose I could buy them via mail order, but they're even more expensive that way. I miss Christmas cake too - REAL Christmas cake though - not the nasty dry stuff you find here in the US masquerading as fruitcake. DARK fruitcake that was made (or bought) back in September and has been fed a regular diet of brandy (maybe a little Guinness) ever since so that the fruit is nice and MOIST and with marzipan and royal icing on top. Sigh! One year I will get my act together and make one. That way I'd get one exactly the way I want - without cherries which I always pick out! I suppose I could make some mince pies too. I made a green tomato pie back in September and was surprised to find that it was remarkably similar to mince pie - but then again, with a ton of brown sugar, raisins and ginger, the tomatoes didn't really contribute much to the flavour!

It is possible to get Christmas crackers here in the US now. Not 20 odd years ago though - or at least nowhere where I shopped. Even so, a confused American blogger in the UK recently referred to them as "cylindrical "bang" packages" and clearly had never heard of them, let alone seen them before. Of course it's the same here as in England - cheap crackers have cheap junk inside them. Expensive crackers have better quality junk. Our crackers this year came from The Christmas Tree Shops so I don't know why we bothered. The internationalization of holiday traditions goes both ways as last time I was in the UK for Christmas I noticed that it is possible to buy candy canes over there now. Again, that wasn't true when I first came to the US.

Accidental expats

In response to a question from Stinking Billy, I posted a question on this blog a couple of weeks ago:

For British expats in the US: Stinking Billy wants to know - when you first came here, did you plan on putting the UK firmly behind you and never returning to live there again?

It would seem to make sense that if you're going to move several thousand miles that it would be with a plan. People like Sarah, for example, emigrated quite intentionally, knowing that they were committing themselves to their new country. The long-term plan wasn't that clear for some of us though. My original plan was to stay in the US for as long as it took to get a Master's degree and then return to the UK. Other people also emigrate on a temporary basis - moving because a job posting has forced them to, but not really intending to stay in the country they've moved to any longer than the job lasts.

Admittedly my sample was small, with 20 people responding, but 75% of us said that when we first left the UK we either had no intention of leaving the UK for good, or we weren't sure that we were leaving for good.

I did actually try to return to the UK, back in 1989. I spent several months over there fruitlessly looking for work, only got one interview, and got not one but two job offers back in the US. It was a no-brainer - continue to be unemployed in the UK or accept a job with a former employer who really wanted me back and was even prepared to pay half my moving costs back to the US. Even when I moved back to the US at that point I still wasn't sure that I would be staying for good, although obviously the odds increased.

Right now it would be really hard to make the reverse trip. I have no doubt that both DH and I would have a hard time finding employment in the UK, even though work visas are not an issue. The sheer logistics and expense of moving would be overwhelming. I am sure people do it and survive, but we would really have to need to do it. A move back to the UK for us would be very deliberate, almost certainly permanent (for DH and I at least, if not the kids) and not at all accidental!

The poll results:
When you first came here, did you plan on putting the UK firmly behind you and never returning to live there again?
5 said Yes (25%)
12 said No (60%)
3 said Wasn't sure (15%)

From the fringe of the bell curve

Maddy asks:

"Consider sharing a recipe that your family, a family member or you, enjoy that doesn’t seem to be appreciated by many other bodies on the planet."

I'm not sure that this really counts as a recipe, but something my mum served when we were growing up and I loved, was grated cheese and ketchup sandwiches. I remember her serving them at a birthday party of mine and some of my friends thought they were weird. I seem to remember most people eating them though. Well, some people anyway ... though, come to think of it, maybe that was me and my sister! I tried feeding them to my own kids last weekend as we had somehow ended up with a lot of cheese in the house. (We rarely buy it as too many of us in this household have high cholesterol.) I was very disappointed to find that when offered this rare treat, the children decided they hated it. I thought that as Americans they would eat anything that was accompanied by ketchup.

There's no recipe - just grate as much cheese as you need and then add ketchup until the cheese sticks together in one big glob. A shortcut would be to simply cut slices of cheese (REAL cheese with a nice sharp flavour - none of those horrid plastic squares that masquerade as cheese!) and put them in between two slices of bread and add ketchup. The gloppiness of the grated cheese with ketchup is definitely preferable as far as I'm concerned though - it's a texture thing! Another variation - using HP Sauce (steak sauce) instead of ketchup - was always reserved for grownups as my mother thought we'd find the HP Sauce too spicy.