Not so lucky

Last summer when one of the baby bunnies in our back yard narrowly avoided being hit by the weedwhacker, my daughter christened him/her Lucky.

Yesterday, DH discovered lots of fur on the grass in the back yard.

Not easy to see until you look a little closer, given that the grass is not so green this time of year. We easily could have missed it.


DD assumed it was from the mother rabbit pulling out her fur to line a nest again. When she realized that it was more likely evidence that one of 'our' rabbits had been prey for the bobcat, she asked:

"Do you think it was Lucky?"
"No dear, I don't think it was lucky!"

Fortunately, she seemed happy with that answer! I just hope we don't start finding bones in the yard . . . Do bobcats eat the bones? Maybe it was a hawk that got the rabbit and that explains the lack of other remains. I DO hope they're off in the woods somewhere and not elsewhere in our yard!

A sign of spring

No daffodils yet, though I saw some this morning on my way to work that looked as though the flowers will be out within the next few days. The sign below at a local school is a different sign of spring.

There are vernal pools nearby with salamanders in them - who apparently tend to commit mass suicide by crossing the nearest roads. I have to admit I've never actually seen any salamanders crossing the road. Perhaps I've unknowingly driven over them? I'm not sure what to do if I see any - turn around and take a different route, or wait for them to cross the road? Clearly, they are not large creatures so the chances are that if I stop to let them cross the person in the car behind me won't see any obvious reason why I've stopped and will try to pass me - possibly killing the salamanders anyway :-(

They say time flies . . .

. . . when you're having fun. So I must be having lots of fun then! It is really hard to believe that I've been in the United States for almost 23 years now. TWENTY THREE YEARS? When did that happen?!!

I came here planning on spending 2 years here and then returning to the UK. Then I discovered that unless I paid out of my own pocket to take summer classes somewhere, there was no way I could graduate in less than 5 semesters. (This despite the fact that one semester I overloaded on credits and took far more classes than was recommended. Hah! I passed them all!) So I took some extra classes just because I wanted to (beginning Spanish, skiing, aerobics), and took 6 semesters (3 years) to finish my degree. That 6th semester I met someone who helped me find a job, with work permission, for the following fall. I deliberately turned all the paperwork for graduation in late so that I couldn't graduate in the spring, which meant that officially I was still a student and was able to work on campus over the summer. (Sneaky huh?! I had a good foreign student advisor, though of course his advice about delaying graduation was strictly off the record!) The short-term job I'd found finished in March, and I returned to the UK. I spent several months fruitlessly job-hunting, but then got two job offers back in the US and came back here.

It wasn't until I'd been here for ten years, and already had my green card, that I met DH. Since then, time has just flown by! Last weekend was our twelfth wedding anniversary. I cannot imagine my life now without him or my children. But I'm having a hard time believing I've been married twelve years already! When did that happen?!! Not only have I now lived in the US for longer than I've lived anywhere else, but I've spent more of my time in the US married to DH than not. And yet I'm still only almost American . . .

Tourism gets in the way

When I came to the United States, it was to do a Master's degree. I could have done that in the UK, though quite frankly at the time it would have been harder to find the funding to do it there. One of the main reasons I chose to do it here was because it gave me the chance to live in the United States for a while. Having spent a year living and studying in France, I realized that being a tourist and living somewhere were very different experiences. My family had never gone on package tours when we travelled to France. We went camping and shopped locally. We had more of an 'authentic' experience than many tourists. But it still wasn't the same as actually being immersed in the language and culture.

Rick Steves, an American travel writer, is the antithesis of ethnocentric and his mission is to encourage people to travel and learn that the way they live is not the only way to live. He writes guidebooks and has a travel show on TV encouraging people to travel independently, off the beaten path, and get to know the place they are visiting. (As a savvy business man, however, he does offer guided tours to Europe whilst touting how different they are from 'regular' tours!)

When asked in a recent interview , "What's the most important thing people can learn from traveling?" he responded:

A broader perspective. They can see themselves as part of a family of humankind. It's just quite an adjustment to find out that the people who sit on toilets on this planet are the odd ones. Most people squat. You're raised thinking this is the civilized way to go to the bathroom. But it's not. It's the Western way to go to the bathroom. But it's not more civilized than somebody who squats. A man in Afghanistan once told me that a third of this planet eats with spoons and forks, and a third of the planet eats with chopsticks, and a third eats with their fingers. And they're all just as civilized as one another.

In the same interview, he commented:

A lot of Americans comfort themselves thinking, "Well, everybody wants to be in America because we're the best." But you find that's not true in countries like Norway, Belgium or Bulgaria. I remember a long time ago, I was impressed that my friends in Bulgaria, who lived a bleak existence, wanted to stay there. They wanted their life to be better but they didn't want to abandon their country. That's a very powerful Eureka! moment when you're traveling: to realize that people don't have the American dream. They've got their own dream. And that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing.

And that's why I call myself 'Almost American' - because so many of the Americans I've met have never travelled and simply cannot understand why everyone wouldn't want to be American. (Yet, at the same time they are angry at the number of people who want so badly to be here that they enter the country illegally!) Rick Steves wants Americans to

get over themselves. He wants us to please shed our geographic ego. "Everybody should travel before they vote," he has written.

It's unrealistic of course, but wouldn't that be nice?

Trying to get blood from a stone

In the "Unclear on the concept" category:


No, it's not a trash can/rubbish bin - it's a sap bucket!

Mud season

(Image from At Home in the Upper Valley.)

When it's mud season and you're visiting friends who live at the end of a long dirt driveway, given the choice of a) a fairly low-slung front wheel drive vehicle and b) an all-wheel drive SUV, make the smart choice and take vehicle b! (Actually, it probably wouldn't have made much difference as all the vehicles seemed to be getting stuck to some degree except for the ones that made for the nice dry spot in front of the garage.)

I do wish I'd had my camera with me!

Maple syrup - it's not just for pancakes!

It is sugaring season again here. Last week on my commute I saw the first sapbuckets out - a real sign that spring is on its way. We'll probably go out for breakfast at one of the sugar houses next weekend. (We were planning to go this weekend, but just didn't manage to haul ourselves out of bed on time, what with the change in the clocks and a late night for all at a party on Saturday!)

Maple syrup is NOT just for pancakes though. At our local sugar house they sell jugs of syrup of course, but they sell other maple products too. You can buy maple candies, and maple cream. (Think creamed honey, but maple flavoured.) You can buy candy floss (cotton candy) made from maple sugar. They sell 'sugar-on-snow' too, which is a cooked down version of maple syrup poured over a tray of snow so that it cools to a consistency where you can pick it up with fingers or a fork and eat it like candy. You can even do this at home (unlike making maple syrup!) Traditionally it's followed by a pickle to kill the sweetness.

One of my favourite chicken recipes calls for honey, but I replaced it with maple syrup once because I had no honey and it was delicious. There are more recipes using maple syrup here, here and here.

PEPPERY CHICKEN
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 cup sliced mushrooms

Marinade ingredients:

1 tsp olive oil
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp honey or maple syrup (but not the fake maple syrup rubbish!)
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tbsp white vinegar
1/2 tsp allspice (didn't have any of this the first few times I made this recipe and it was still good)
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper (I tend not to bother with this, preferring simply to add pepper to taste once the chicken is cooked.)

Mix all the marinade ingredients and pour over the chicken. The honey or maple syrup is easier to measure if you pour it into the same spoon you used for the olive oil - the remaining film of oil on the spoon helps the sticky sweet stuff slide right off! Refrigerate for about an hour. It's definitely better if you marinate it, rather than just pouring the sauce over the chicken and cooking it right away - which of course I do on occasion when I haven't planned ahead! You can marinade it for longer than an hour and it doesn't seem to harm it.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F, and bake the chicken until cooked.

Slice the mushrooms thinly and add to the sauce surrounding the chicken for the last few minutes of cooking time. I've sometimes added sun-dried tomatoes to the sauce at the beginning of the cooking time too.

Serve with rice or couscous.

I posted about maple sugaring last year, here, here and here. If you're in the north-eastern United States and looking for information about sugar houses that you can visit, try these sites:

• Maple Producers Association of Connecticut
• Maine Maple Producers Association
• Massachusetts Maple Producers Association
• New Hampshire Maple Producers
• New York State Maple Producers Association
• Vermont Maple Syrup

Ooh - thanks Kat!

Expat Kat at The Pea Green Boat just gave me this award:
According to the authors of this award, this blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

So thanks Kat! I pass this on to Da Goof at Another Redesign of the Wheel, Laura of Are we Nearly There Yet Mummy?, Limey at Brits n' Bobs, Expat 21 at Expat Abroad, Maximus of Home and Other Thoughts From Abroad, Canoez at Paddling Upstream, Nicola of Some Mothers Do 'av Em, and Tasha at WAHM-BAM. If you haven't visited any of these blogs before - do take a look!

Blue skies and snowy days

I remember a January day my very first winter in New England - walking across the quiet, almost empty, university campus and really enjoying the feeling of being on holiday. There was snow on the ground and the sky was cloudless. I remember being quite delighted by the sun sparkling off the snow because I don't remember ever seeing snow in England sparkle. When we made Christmas decorations in primary school and used white glitter to decorate them it never occurred to me that snow really could sparkle like that - I thought it was a pretend thing!

Even when it's really cold (and even when I have to go to work), those sunny days in winter lift my spirits, especially when there's snow on the ground. Yesterday was one of those gorgeously sunny days and it was a nice day to be out and about:


Today it is not like that. We woke to grey skies and the forecast of 4 to 8 inches of snow. Instead of sitting in a puddle of sunshine on the dining room floor this afternoon reading a book, as I did yesterday, I've been sitting on the living room floor playing games with the husband and kids.

Quirkle is our game of choice this winter - one of those simple to learn games that requires some thought and strategy to play well. The snow is pretty and it's nice to have family time and an excuse for not having to go anywhere or do anything outside the house.



Having said that, once we get to the end of February I'm usually ready for winter to be over, or at least for there to be no more snow. But for all my griping about the weather, I would definitely miss New England winters if I ever moved back to the UK!

February vacation

We don't get half term holidays over here, but we do have this week off school anyway. The school year here is 10 days shorter than in the UK - 180 days rather than 190 and the holidays are arranged a little differently.

No October half-term, but we do get two days in November for Thanksgiving. Slightly less than 2 weeks at Christmas/New Year as opposed to two full weeks in the UK. A week in February, like February half term. We don't get two weeks off at Easter. We get one week in April. In my school district that vacation will now be shortened by 2 days because of the number of snow days we've had :-( By the middle to end of June we're done, whereas the state schools in the UK still have another 3 weeks to go.

So why is it, after so many years of February half term, it feels far too early this year to be having a week off school right now? Maybe I got too used to the private school vacations of two weeks in March? (Perfect timing for cheap tickets to the UK! It's been three years now though since I had vacation in March. Sniff!) Maybe it's because I ended up with almost a month off for Christmas because of all the snow days? (If only I'd know in advance that was coming, we'd have gone to the UK!) It certainly feels as though we had just barely got started with a school routine, and now we're on holiday again. Of course, DH with his paltry annual allowance of something like 6 days off has no sympathy!

Ok, I'm off to plan our calendar so we don't get to Friday and find the week has slipped by and we haven't even left the house! Library, movies, museums, kids' theatre - there are so many choices!

Another expat interview

Several of the bloggers I read have been participating in the 5 questions interview meme. I volunteered to have Not from Around Here interview me, and she sent the following questions:

(1) What do you miss most about the UK?
After 23 years over here in the US, the biggest thing I miss right now about the UK is my family. I wish my kids had a chance to get to know their English cousins better. I wish I had been able to be around and help my sister's family out when she and her husband both underwent significant surgeries last fall. I miss my mum and dad - but video Skype phone calls are great!

(2) What main message would you like to pass along to your kids about your multi-national existence?
That it is important to learn not just about the British and American cultures, but others too. Too many problems in this world stem from people believing that their way is the only way, when in fact there are often many different ways to do something that are equally good.

(3) What about America do you like the most but perhaps am reticent to admit because you're "Almost American"?
I don't think I would be reticent about admitting it, but I do like the sense of possibility over here. To repeat a blog post from a couple of years ago, I like:

the can-do attitude over here. If someone in the UK said they were thinking about maybe writing a book, the reaction would be, "What, you?" If someone in the US said the same thing the response would be "Go for it!"

I wonder how much that has changed with bloggers like Tom Reynolds, Petite Anglaise and others getting publishing deals now and becoming celebrities?

(4) How would you change America and how would you change the UK if given the chance?
The United States definitely needs a health care system that doesn't leave people in fear of bankruptcy if they actually get sick. Yes, I know the NHS isn't perfect, but in the UK no one has to fear losing their car, house, life savings and credit rating because they can't pay their medical bills. Sadly, I don't see this changing in the US any time soon, despite the change in regime.

I've been away from the UK so long now, that it would almost be like moving to a 'foreign' country if I moved back, so I honestly be sure what I would change. What I read online seems to imply that in many ways Britain is adopting some of the worst aspects of American culture - such as fast food and violence - and I think that's sad.

(5) If you had all the time (and resources) in the world, what would you do with your time?
Time AND resources eh? So I get to imagine having won the biggest lottery I can think of? Excellent! Travel would be very high on the list. The kids have not spent enough time with their relatives in the UK, or enough time over there to get any real sense of how Britain is different from the US beyond some superficial differences in vocabulary. (Lorry, biscuit . . .) I'd like them to see some of the other places in Europe that DH and I have seen, and DD has expressed a strong interest in visiting Asia. I would also like to spend more time on some of my craft interests that keep getting pushed to one side. I have a loom that hasn't been used in over a year, and DH is still waiting for me to ever knit him a sweater!

Thanks NFAH for the interesting questions - some answers were immediately obvious, others I had to think about a little harder.

Here are the directions if you want to participate in the meme:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me,” not forgetting that I'll need your email address. (No need to make it public - just put it in the little box thingy and I'll be able to see it but my readers won't.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Dinnertime

Both children are usually pretty good eaters. They like a lot of things I'm told many other children their age won't eat. But for some reason DS has decided in the last 6 weeks or so that nothing we cook is good enough for him any more. He will request something for dinner and then refuse to eat it when it's served. Unless it's cheerios, goldfish crackers or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, there's no guarantee he'll eat it. Some yogurts are acceptable, and anything mom and dad would classify as junk food, though we rarely, if ever, serve it. Tonight's dinner conversation was typical:

On seeing dinner being prepared by DH:

That's yucky!
How do you know? You've never tasted it!
I just hate it!
But you like everything that's in it!
Well, I'm not going to eat it!
Then you're going to be very hungry because that's all that's on offer tonight!

When it was actually put in front of him:

You know I don't like that!
(We ignore him.)
The sauce is touching the broccoli!
(We ignore him.)
I'm not hungry! I'm full!
But I bet you have room for chocolate ice cream don't you?!
Yes!
Well, the ice cream is only for people who've eaten at least half their dinner!

The faces he pulled were quite entertaining, but he wouldn't let me take a photo of him:


Nor, apparently, was it acceptable to take pictures of his 'disgusting' dinner:

(The empty cup was going to have milk or water poured into it after he'd eaten some of his dinner. We've learned not to fill it at the beginning of the meal as otherwise he just fills up on liquid!)

My dinner, on the other hand, was very nice:



Just kidding! The teatowel and cocktail napkins were joke gifts from DH this holiday season! I had the same pasta with homemade tomato sauce with olives, pork, and broccoli that the kids had and I'm looking forward to the leftovers for lunch at work tomorrow (even without an accompanying glass of red wine!)

DS never did eat any of his dinner, but that's OK - guess what he's having for dinner tomorrow?! :-)

Follow-up: He did indeed get offered the same meal a second time - and guess what? This time it was deemed yummy and he ate it all up!

Future plans

Apparently just before Christmas DD was making plans for her future. I found the following written on a small scrap of paper hidden under her bed. I'm not quite sure why the numbering changed mid-stream - it looked as though she was making plans for specific ages, but then suddenly it changed to specific dates. Perhaps she wanted to throw me off in case I found the list!

10 - See Beverly Hills Chew Wa Wa
11 - own all high school vidios
12 -
13 - Get ears perced
14 - Get first boy friend
15 -
16 -
17 -
18 - Take dads canoe building class
19 - own a horse
Dec 20 - Live on farm
Dec 21 - own livestock
Dec 22 - Request song
Dec 23 - Move to apartment but own farm
24 - have child
25 - move to New york
26 - see the macys thanks giving day parade in New york
27 - buy car
28 - buy a house
29 - Get marryed

She must have written it on a day she was in a good mood because there is no mention of leaving home until Dec (i.e. age?) 20. We do need to have a little chat about the fact that she apparently has no ambition to go to university. Of course that would save DH and I a ton of money in the short term, but probably not in the long run as she will need financial support from us if she ends up in dead-end jobs because of a lack of education! I'm not necessarily excited about her having a child before she gets married either. That's worth a few conversations too!

The end of an error

One can only hope!

Culture shock

Not from Around Here pointed me in the direction of an excellent post on depression and culture shock on An American Bedu's blog. The post itself is interesting, the comments even more so. Culture shock is so much more complicated than many people realize. Many people think it goes away if you live long enough in the 'foreign' culture, but that's not always true. Some people never get over it and choose to go back home, as expat21 discussed recently on her blog. However, it's not true that returning 'home' will always be an improvement. There is truth in the saying "You can never go home" and reverse culture shock can be just as powerful as the regular kind!

Most of the 'graphs' of culture shock I've found online are based on the foreign-exchange student/temporary stay abroad experience rather than that of the immigrant:

A visa by any other name

From The Independent newspaper, January 10, 2009:

For more than 20 years, the vast majority of British visitors to America have entered the US under the Visa Waiver Program. This involves filling in a green form, code name I-94W, while on board the flight to America. But from Monday 12 January, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is introducing a new set of rules.

Even though you might be eligible to visit the US under the visa waiver program, you will now have to apply online at least 3 days in advance of your planned trip to the US to ask for permission. Even if you are simply going to be changing planes in the US and continuing on to another destination, you will need to ask permission. (In the past, transit-only passengers did not need a visa as far as I know, so long as they were not planning on leaving the airport.) Customs and Border Protection has a page here explaining what you need to know. If you've ever been to the US and filled out the I-94 W on the plane before landing, the new ESTA program asks for exactly the same information - only before you travel to the US rather than as you arrive.

It sounds as though for many people it could be a tiny improvement - one less thing to deal with on the plane - except that, for now at least, you still have to fill in the form on the plane too! And of course, if you're someone (yes, there are some) who never goes online, filling out the online-only form could prove problematic. I forsee a market for travel agents charging to do this! The US government currently does not charge people to submit an ESTA application, but they reserve the right to do so in the future.

When I downloaded one of the PDF files that explained more about the program, it said I could find out more about the program at http://www.cpb.gov/esta. Hmm - that address gave me a page load error: "Firefox can't find the server at www.cpb.gov". So I thought I'd take a look at the site where you can actually fill out the information in advance of your visit to the US - https://esta.cpb.dhs.gov - and guess what? That server couldn't be found either!

Why am I not surprised? (Addendum - anonymous pointed out that I had mistyped the address. The sad thing is that I did it not once but multiple times, each time checking the address against the addresses listed in the PDF file. I guess I was tireder than I thought, or just getting old, as dyslexia is not something I usually have a problem with!)

The correct address is significantly longer than https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov. (Spot the difference in the address?) If you actually need it, and want to avoid the typing mistakes I made, it is (currently) linked to from near the top of this Customs and Border Protection page. And if I were you, if the response you get from the system is that you ARE authorized to travel to the US, I'd make sure you print that screen out and tuck the printout in with your passport and tickets! (Actually, the instructions do tell you to keep a record of your application number and have it with you as you enter the US.)

Happy 2009!

A little late because we've been away and I didn't plan ahead to have a post appear on New Year's Day, but Happy New Year anyway! Here's a quick look back at 2008 from (not my) Uncle Jay:

Mandalas

I was inspired this afternoon by the beautiful artwork at Chewy's blogsite, "The Back of my Headboard," particularly by the gorgeous mandalas she has created. They are done in Photoshop, which I have used a little but not enough to figure out how to create such images myself. (It's the math of the rotations and flips of the picture that's beyond me to figure out on my own.) I was wondering if she would teach me, or if I could find a class - and then as I went back into her archives I found she had linked to a fantastic tutorial on exactly how to create mandalas. (Although I visit her blog from time to time, it wasn't on my RSS feed - if it was I'd've known about the tutorial a couple of months ago.) Thanks Chewy - and you're on my RSS feed now!

Here's the first mandala I've made, from a photo of a snowy tree in our yard:

Nice to see you!

We've been using Skype for a while now to call family in the UK. I think the first time I logged in to Skype there were fewer than a million people online. Nowadays it's more like 15 million. I was surprised this morning when it was only 10 million - but I suppose a lot of people use it for business. Anyway, we have only recently started making video calls using Skype, and I have to say it's wonderful! We made a couple of calls to the UK today and saw my parents, my niece and nephews and their parents. It's a long time since my kids have seen their cousins, and DS probably doesn't have a really clear memory of them, so being able to see and talk to them was really nice. DS enjoyed putting his face close to the camera to show off the fact that he's lost two of his baby teeth and there is a new one coming through.

The best part of the calls was the fact that I was using a Macbook with a built-in camera, so I was able to walk around the house with it. At one point my sister said, "Take me to the kitchen!" and I did. My mother wanted a closer look at a piece of artwork on the wall so I obliged. We were about to hang up when my kids yelled that my father-in-law was just pulling up on the driveway. My mum said she'd stay online until he came in the house so she could say hello to him - after all it wasn't going to cost any extra! Rather than walk away from the computer to let him in, I took the laptop to the front door with me, so as he walked in the house she greeted him with a cheery "Merry Christmas!" The look on his face was priceless! The kids' great-great-aunt (in her 90's) was with him, and her reaction was complete discombobulation - at first she thought she was looking at herself, then she thought it was a video and finally asked "Is she answering me back?" Great-great-aunt is, as my mother-in-law used to say, a hot ticket and she commented later in the day that she'd love to live for another 90 years just to see what new technologies will come along.

It's really not that long since the idea of video phone calls was still pure science fiction, and now not only can we make video calls but with Skype they are free! I wonder what we'll be doing with technology when I'm in my 90s?

Snow day

It didn't start snowing until almost 1 o'clock this afternoon, but school was cancelled for the day anyway. The kids and I had a lazy start to the day, having breakfast about 9. The squirrels were out there pigging out as usual, but suddenly there was a huge flurry of activity, animals racing across the lawn, that caught our attention. We realized that something large had just chased a couple of squirrels up a tree. They went too high for the larger animal to follow them, at which point it started to back down the tree and then raced off into the woods in pursuit of another squirrel. It took me a moment to figure out what it was - it looked vaguely racoon sized - but then as it turned and I saw its face and then looked again at its tail, I realized it was a bobcat! They're not particularly uncommon animals in North America, but it's really unusual to see them in broad daylight! Descriptions of them usually include the words 'elusive' and/or 'seldom seen'.

DS was convinced he'd seen a leopard or cheetah until I looked it up online and showed him some pictures. You can see why he was confused:

Of course the whole thing happened far too fast for me to get any photos of my own. We went out afterwards to look at the footprints, but although the bobcat's prints were noticeably different to all the squirrel prints out there they didn't look particularly cat-like. The snow on the ground this morning was covered in a layer of ice and there were several places where the bobcat hadn't even broken through the ice and so there were no pawprints at all!


The large white circles are not snowflakes but drops of water on the window.